Definition
“Henosis” is the empathy code that guides the behavior and interactions of Vira members within the Vault. The term “Henosis” is derived from the Greek word meaning “oneness” or “unity.” This reflects our goal of creating a unified approach to empathy and support, ensuring consistency and alignment in how Vira members interact with Ventors.
“Henosis (Ancient Greek: ἕνωσις) is the classical Greek word for mystical “oneness”, “union” or “unity”. In Neoplatonism, henosis is unification with what is fundamental in reality: the One (Τὸ Ἕν), the Source, or Monad”
Wikipedia
What is Empathy?
Empathy is generally described as the ability to take on another person’s perspective, to understand, feel, and possibly share and respond to their experience. In psychological imagery, empathy is explained as “putting oneself in the shoes of another.”
The Origin of Empathy:
In 1903, Theodor Lipps introduced the word “Einfühlung” in German, which means “feeling into.” Six years later, Edward Titchener translated Einfühlung to “empathy” in English.
What’s the Difference Between Empathy and Sympathy?
In an interview with Prof. Brené Brown, she explains that empathy deepens a connection, while sympathy drives disconnection. She shares her insight from the research of Theresa Wiseman, who identified four attributes of empathy: the ability to see the world from someone else’s perspective, to withhold judgment, to identify emotions in others, and to communicate them.
Brown highlights that empathy involves not only thinking about people, but also feeling with people. She clarifies how sympathy often involves attempting to “fix” difficult situations, whereas empathy requires connecting with others’ emotions and experiences without judgment.
Offering empathy is a vulnerable act that requires recognizing and connecting with someone else’s experiences themselves.
Prof. Brown emphasizes that true connection, instead of attempting to fix or minimize problems, is what generates genuine support during tough times.
Why Do We Need a Code of Empathy?
Viranda serves as a safe space for Ventors to comfortably express themselves without the fear of judgment or criticism. Central to our mission is the commitment of our Vira to uphold a steadfast code of empathy: a code that ensures maximum empathy towards others.
Through meticulous examination of scholarly works, research papers, and consultations with our esteemed team of qualified professionals (Validators), we have composed a set of 10 key rules that serve as beacons of empathy, fostering an environment where individuals can freely express themselves, knowing they are embraced with understanding and compassion.
Key Rules of the Henosis Empathy Code
Every active Vira is committed to act by the following key rules:
1. No Advising
As Vira, the first and most crucial rule is not offering advice or recommendations. We are not a counselling or advisory service of any kind, nor do we substitute for such services. Instead, we serve as attentive listeners aiming to empower people who choose to express themselves through Viranda.
Even if you are a qualified therapist, refrain from advising or giving recommendations. You can always discuss your circumstances with us and we can brainstorm together on how to listen and respond solely through understanding rather than advising. Furthermore, refrain from recommending a specific professional to turn to as that is not within our authority to recommend.
You may suggest seeking professional help in cases where someone is experiencing severe emotional distress. Our Vira friends aren’t therapists, so for serious challenges, we recommend reaching out to a mental health professional.
2. No Judging
If the Ventor expresses a negative feeling about something, the last thing we want to do is judge, because what benefit would it bring to them?
This is not your role; your role as Vira is to accept the situation as it is and to serve as attentive listeners for the Ventor while asking questions to convey your interest in them (this must be done gently and only if they are willing to share). Even if you feel “angry” at them for what they did, refrain from judging or expressing your personal opinion (which is irrelevant since the deed has been done, and you can not turn back time).
Instead, try to understand what caused them to behave in this manner. Empathy will come to light when you deeply understand that no other course of action seems logical to you, even if you can hold this perspective for just a brief moment.
3. No Ignoring
As Vira, you are not obligated to be active on a daily basis or to accept a conversation that comes your way. However, if you do consciously decide to accept a conversation, the other side enters into continuous communication with you. As a result, it is important to focus on the conversation and not ignore any sent messages.
Try to be fully present in the conversation, 100% attentive to the other side, and do not ignore what is being said as much as you possibly can within your circumstances. If the worst case scenario presents itself and you must end the conversation for any reason, express that you need to conclude your conversation and apologize sincerely. As you wouldn’t want someone to abruptly end a conversation with you, try not to do it to someone else. Please engage in conversations only if you have the leisure to do so.
4. No Interrupting
Recognizing the importance of freedom of expression, this rule encourages a space where people can freely express their thoughts without being interrupted.
Interruptions can disrupt the natural flow of ideas and create discomfort, which may affect the authenticity of the conversation. By avoiding interrupting the Ventor, we aim to foster an environment where people feel heard, valued, and capable of expressing themselves authentically.
5. No Pressuring
It is very easy to fall into the trap of identifying so strongly with our own beliefs that we impose them on others and even argue about them. It is not your place as Vira to “convince” the other side of your beliefs; the goal is not to be right but to help others.
It is very likely that you may say something that the Ventor won’t agree with or even oppose. For example, they might say something like “What nonsense are you going on about?”. Even in cases where you feel 100% confident that your points are not nonsense and you have the ability to prove it, do not pressure or attempt to prove or enforce yourself on others.
6. Preserve Confidentiality
The foundation for building trustful interactions is acquiring a sense of security in the conversation’s confidentiality. Under no circumstances will the content of the conversations be shared with anyone; this is the expectation of the Ventor, and we will uphold their privacy. Even if you feel a strong temptation to share a story that some Ventor has revealed to you, you will maintain absolute confidentiality. It might help to think of yourself as undergoing a “memory wipe” after each conversation.
Maintaining confidentiality also applies to anonymity. Besides a few characteristics including age, gender, and marital status, you will not receive further information as to the identity of the Ventor, and it must remain so. Even if you feel tempted in any way, do not seek to know more details about their identity. Likewise, the other party is only aware of those same characteristics regarding yourself, and you must not disclose your identity or any information that might imply it. Of course, Vira is allowed to share life experiences that do not depict identifying details, such as “I have traveled to Paris in the past” or “I enjoy eating Italian food,” etc.
7. Validate Feelings
True empathy goes far beyond just listening; it involves recognizing and validating the emotions expressed by the other person. Instead of dismissing or minimizing their feelings, make an effort to acknowledge and validate their emotional experience.
For example, if someone says, “I feel really overwhelmed with everything going on,” you might respond with, “I feel that you are going through a difficult time. I am here for you if you want to talk”. This principle underscores the importance of making people feel heard and understood, which helps cultivate a deeper connection.
8. Offer Praise & Empowerment
Praise and compliments do not only have to be shared when the other side achieves some quantitative accomplishment; even if they simply “open up and share”, it is an achievement in itself. There is no need for a specific reason or excuse to say something positive to the other side. It is always important to be in a mindset where you appreciate the other side and want to empower them regardless of what is said, even actively searching for opportunities to empower. The underlying assumption is that if something you say will make the other side feel good, it is a good enough reason to say it.
Examples of uplifting statements:
- ”Thank you for sharing with me”
- “I appreciate your trust and openness”
- ”It must not have been easy to do that, but it sounds like it was important and meaningful”
9. Respect The Other Side
We are not experts on what is right or wrong in the world. The Ventor is the expert within their own life, and we support them.
Sometimes, you may encounter situations that are uncomfortable because we tend to imagine ourselves in their situation, leading us to react as if we were the ones in their shoes.
It is important to remember that the person venting is different to you. They come from a different world with different people and different life experiences. Their behavior may stem from past life experiences that you are not aware of and will not become aware of during the conversation. Try to respect the positions and beliefs of each person, even if they do not exactly match yours.
10. Listen, Don’t Merely Hear
True listening is not only hearing. We all hear and pick up sound waves, but only through true listening can you truly connect with the other side. When you want to listen to someone, you must completely set aside your thoughts in order to truly “hear” the other side. Therefore, Vira must be an expert in listening.
Many times, we instinctively start thinking about how we are going to respond while the other side is still talking, which leads to missing out on truly listening. Instead of focusing on yourself and what you have to say, it is important to focus on the other side and what they choose to share.
The Importance of Henosis
Henosis is the cornerstone of the Viranda ecosystem, embodying the principles of empathy and deep emotional connection. By adhering to these principles, Vira members create a supportive and understanding environment where individuals feel safe to express their thoughts and emotions. The unified approach of Henosis ensures that every Ventor receives consistent and aligned support, fostering a community of genuine connection and empathy. This consistency helps maintain the integrity and effectiveness of the Viranda ecosystem, making it a reliable and safe space for venting.
We believe that the key rules of Henosis should be applied in all our daily conversations, not just within the Vault. By keeping these principles in mind, we can maximize the empathy the other side experiences, enhancing the quality and impact of any human interaction and fostering deeper connections and understanding in all areas of life.
